Love Needs No Reason
by Evowizard25
Summary: Discord has never been in love. After a chat with Cadance, he makes it his mission to obtain it...Poor Applejack.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, I wish I was still a normal Pegasus and never became the goddess I am now. Don't get me wrong, I love being me. There isn't a day of my life that I'd trade away. It's just…It's hard being the goddess of love and a princess to boot. If it's not filing taxes, it's helping some couple sort out some stupid argument about going to the spa. It just makes me want to smack them upside the heads and yell at them to stop squandering their time together. Love isn't something you can take for granted, I should know.

But I don't. I'm a lady and we don't have outbursts. Conceal, don't feel. Just let it go. Those were among the first lessons taught to me during my princess training. And over the years, I've perfected it. I've mastered it. I MADE IT MY B****!...Oops. *giggles* I got carried away again. Silly me.

But enough about me, let's get back on track here.

In all my years, I've accumulated several epic tales and events that I've proudly put under my wings. I've stopped wars, fought the greatest beasts in the land, and helped unite lovers across the globe. I've done just about everything one can do: Sky diving with my wings tied and without a parachute, taking a dip in shark infested waters, dueling Chrysalis in Dance Dance Revolution.

What can I say? I'm a thrill seeker.

But above all of them, there is one tale that stands out. One tale that gave me more headaches then I count. A tale that made me question my very own station as the goddess of love.

And it all started with an apple.

It was like any other day in my Crystal Empire...Oh I just love saying that: my empire. Maybe I can crown myself Empress one of these days…nah, too much hassle.

Anyhoo, within the walls of the Crystal Palace, I lay snuggling up to my cutie of a husband: Shining Armor. He is just so adorable when he's asleep. Even though I had woken up a few minutes before, I couldn't help but stay by his side. He's like a plushy doll I can't let go.

I didn't have any plans for that morning, so I was going to make the best of this snuggly moment.

I sighed in bliss. Nothing would have broken that moment.

Suddenly, a loud knock rang from the door, which pervaded throughout the room. I jumped in fright, tumbling out of bed. Luckily for me, I didn't land on my wing. Wings are especially sensitive and let me tell you, breaking them is no laughing matter. If you thought breaking your arm was bad, a broken wing is ten times worse.

Maybe that's just my Pegasus blood talking.

After I got myself back up again, I calmly walked to the door with the sole intention of wringing the neck of whoever knocked. NOPONY INTERRUPTS CUDDLING TIME!

Shining was still asleep in bed. He was a heavy sleeper when off duty and not even a volcano can wake him up._'But I have other ways.'_ I thought to myself with a sly smile.

Opening the door, I saw somepony I'd never thought I'd see in my Empire.

"Discord," I said. "What are you doing here?"

Yes, before me stood the very god of chaos and disharmony himself. But there was something different about him. Something that I would soon learn that would change my life forever.

He looked nervous and…sad. Discord was twitching and shifting from leg to leg, looking down at me. He reminded me of a lost puppy and I had to do everything in my power to not cuddle him till he smiled. Inside his claw laid a single, red apple. "Can I please come inside?" He said in a small voice, similar to a child's.

My eyes widened. _'Is something wrong with him?'_ "Of course you may." I stepped back to allow him entry. Honestly, he could have come in even if I had said no. There was nothing I could do against his magic.

Besides, I didn't have anything against him. Yes, I grew up listening to tales about how much of a monster he was and how my aunts had to seal him away for the betterment of Equestria, but after dealing with him personally, he grew on me. He was a welcome change-up to my dreary life and I honestly enjoyed taking care of him with Twilight. Even though I wanted to hit him over the head the entire time, since it was supposed to be Twilight and I's special time. We haven't been able to hang out since she was a little filly.

But the god of chaos just walked over to a chair and sat down into a chair. Unsurprisingly, the chair turned into his very own throne. Casting a glance over to my husband, Discord started to grin.

I glared at him. "Discord, this is between me and you."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "How would you know? Maybe little soldier boy over here can help me solve this little conundrum of mine."

"And what is this conundrum of yours?" I used my magic to pull another chair over to face him.

Discord was silent for a moment. All he did for the next few seconds was rub his chin and look between me and Shining. Before I could ask what in the hay he was thinking about, he did exactly what I know him best for:

Being a complete arse.

Teleporting in a bright, white flash, he appeared over Shining Armor with a pair of large cymbals. Banging them together next to his ear, he shouted "Wakey, wakey, artichokey!"

Reeling from the loud, sudden noises, I held my head. "Discord, stop that!"

Discord just peered down at Shining's still form. "Wow. You really did a number on him." He shrugged and the cymbals disappeared. He looked over at me and grinned. "What is it that you did that tired him out so?"

I couldn't help but feel my face heat up as I blushed. "I…I…He's a heavy sleeper."

Waggling a finger in amusing accusation, he chuckled. "Liar, liar, pants on fire."

"Discord," I cut him off. I know I shouldn't get flustered about the subject, being the expert of love that I am, I can't help myself. It's supposed to be something private, kept between lovers. Breathing in and out, I did my usual calming technique. I didn't want to explode on him, since he could probably throw my spells around. _'I wonder if he can use magic without any hands.'_ "Please, why are you here?"

Frowning, he teleported back into his chair. Plucking a hair from his head, he held it out from himself. The strand quickly turned into a mirror. To this day, I'm still amazed by the creative way he uses his magic. Honestly, I'm still a little jealous.

"You see, I was sitting inside my thinking tree. Trying to come up with a new way to prank clownfish," A childish image of Discord in a tree formed in the mirror. It looked like a foal younger then the age of ten drew it. One without any real skill. "When I realized something."

"What did you realize?"

"There is one thing I have never understood," Discord squinted at the apple in his forepaw. The image showed Discord causing all sorts of mayham…At least I thought that's what it showed. Again, it looked like a preschool drawing. "All my life I've been a loner, the outcast, that really cool guy who gives not a buck about anyone but himself."

'_Cool isn't a word that describes you.'_

"And in all that time, I was alone." Discord sighed. The image in the mirror showed a depressed Discord. "It took good lil Flutterbutter to help me understand that." An image of Discord and Fluttershy frolicking through a meadow of flowers had me nearly rolling on the floor in stiches. "And now, I've come to understand something else is missing in my life."

"And pray tell, what is missing from your life?"

Discord chuckled faintly. "If I didn't know any better, I would say this is turning into a therapy session." With a snap of his fingers, he was laying down on top of a feinting couch, while I had my hair up in a bun and a pair of glasses on my snout. A nice, formal dress fit around my body. I didn't flinch or anything like that. After the incident in Ponyville, I grew wise to his ways.

"Faust knows you need one." I smirked.

Discord's laugh grew louder. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

Levitating a clipboard and pen, I couldn't help but snicker. "Now, tell me all about your little problem?" I didn't have to wait for the question that would throw my life through a loop.

"What is love?"

Peering over at him inquisitively, I couldn't help but ask "Why do you ask?"

Discord twirled the apples across his fingers. "When I was thinking, I spied the Cakes. They were sitting about, having a sappy moment with their kids." While Discord gagged, the mirror showed the Cakes smiling at each other in a park. "It was too sweet for my taste, but I couldn't help but feel I was missing out on something grand. And then an apple hit me in the head." The mirror, that was now hovering over him, showed Discord getting conked on the noggin. "This very apple. And I couldn't but wonder why? I specifically wanted that tree to grow raisins, but no. Low and behold, it grew an apple without me knowing. Clever tree."

"But what does this have to do with love?"

"Everything," Discord waved his hands about, dramatically. "I puzzled and puzzled, until I blew out my puzzler. Darn things are so temperamental." He grumbled, to which the mirror showed a broken machine similar to an engine. "Until I realized I knew nothing about love." The god of chaos frowned and held the apple close to his face. "I know about as much about love as I do about apples. I find that odd. An immortal being who knows next to nothing about such things."

"It's not odd," I pointed out. "You just never take the time to appreciate them. If you just learned to slow down…"

Discord snorted. "Sorry Candy, I can't do that." Next thing I know, he's dressed in some sort of strange, white outfit similar to the wonderbolts with a matching helmet. "I live in the fast lane."

I glared at him. "Don't call me Candy." You would not know it, but I really hated that nickname back then…Like, with a burning passion.

"Can't do that, Candy," Discord grinned at me, flashing away the strange clothes. "Now that I know it ticks you off, I'll use it to the fullest. It's how I roll, my dear."

"Well you can just roll on out of here," I pointed to the door.

Discord gave me an unamused gaze. "You're no fun."

'_No fun?'_I thought with agitation. _'Who was he to call me 'no fun'? I'm the funnest princess around. Nothing can ever keep me down.'_Which is the truth and I had a half a mind to kick his sorry flank out for saying that. Probably would have spared me the massive migraines coming up.

"So," Discord spoke up again. He pulled out a large, grandfather clock from behind the couch. "Are you going to tell me? I have an important meeting to crash."

"Love isn't something you can explain in a hurry," I told him truthfully. "It'd take ages to explain the intricacies…."

"You're sounding like Twilight," Discord took on a worried expression. "Please don't tell me she got her study habits from you."

I smirked. "No, she was already a bookworm when I first met her."

Discord wiped the sweat from his brow. "Phew, you had me…"

"But so am I." Oh how I remember his fearful gaze. I keep it in a special place in my heart, using it for a quick laugh. "But let me simplify it for you."

"You truly are a saint."

Rolling my eyes, I continued. "Love cannot be explained, because it's different for everypony: family, friends, lovers, the works. It's a force of nature that is stronger than anything you can imagine. It bows to no one, yet comes to everyone. It changes, it shifts, it adapts to the times. No matter the heart, it can take root and sprout something truly magnificent."

Discord stared at the apple. "So what are you saying?"

"Simply put, I'm saying this. Love has no reason, Love has no rhyme. Love will find you any old time." I giggled. I just loved that proverb.

Discord raised an eyebrow, which quickly grew and hit the ceiling. "Love has no reason?" Cutting the excess eyebrow off with a pair of scissors, he stood up. "So what you are saying is that love is like chaos?"

I tilted my head in confusion. I had never thought of that before. "I would believe so in a way. Neither are constant and vary on many levels. They can corrupt the ill-prepared and sooth the greatest of beasts."

Discord threw the apple into the air and let it land on the end of his snout. "Why didn't you say so before? I would never miss out on something so…chaotic as love. I simply must experience it."

I smiled brightly. I loved helping others find their soul-mate and it'd have been an honor to help Discord out with his…An honor I'd later want to bash over his head several times over.

"This apple is the key," Discord exclaimed. He twirled the apple on a single finger. "The key to my dilemma."

I stared at him in confusion. Had I known then what I knew now…I wouldn't have done anything, but I would have done a better job keeping him in my sights. "Discord?"

"And it's telling me just the mare to see," his grin reminded me of the great schemer that he once was. "Thanks for the info dump, Candy." Vanishing in a flash, he left me alone.

Rolling my eyes, I believed that was the last I'd see of him. _'Discord's just being Discord.'_ I thought he was going to try it for a bit and get bored. Oh how naive and foolish I was back then.


	2. Chapter 2

Hard work an' apples. These are the things ah hold in the highest of regards. Ya can't have apples without breakin' a sweat. The same goes fer life. So, ah live how ah work and that's done me fine enough…at least until that gal Twilight Sparkle showed up.

Whoo-wee, life's been a roller coaster ride since that fateful day. I've laughed, I've cried, I've bucked shapeshiftin', emotion eaters.

Nevah thought that'd happen.

Anyways, ah've lived an interestin' year to say the least and ah couldn't be happier. Yeah ah've faced more than my share of villains, monsters, an' the dreaded CMC, but ah'm still alive an' kicking. That's got to mean somethin'.

Goin' on and on about this just makes me realize how much mah life has changed, but not applebucking. Applebucking never changes and it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Ya just kick 'em hard and ya get the fruits of yer labor. Easy peasy.

That's what ah was doing this fine, sunny day and ah loved every moment of it.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS APPLE CATCHER YAY!"

….Can ah take back the 'lovin' this moment' comment?...No?...Taint fair.

Now it ain't like ah dislike mah sister, far from it. Ah love her with all my heart, and ya'd be a darned fool not ta see it. Ah just hate the way she's goin' about getting her cutie mark. Ah've had to replace more equipment, materials, an' take more baths then ah've ever had to in the last year alone.

How they keep gettin' covered in tree sap is beyond me. Cuttin' pony's manes doesn't even involve the stuff.

Ah could try and stop mah sis, but she needs ta learn on her own what a cutie mark is really about. That and it's nice ta see her play with her friends. For a long while, all she had was that Twist gal…Come ta think about it, ah haven't seen her in a while. Maybe they had a fallin' out of sorts.

Anyways, back to the CMC. They were helpin' me by carryin' small buckets on their backs ta catch apples. They were doin' a pretty good job if ya ask me.

Givin' another tree a stern buck, Apple Bloom dove in an' caught 'em in the nick of time. "Good job, lil sis."

"Ah learned it from the best, big sis," Apple Bloom answered, givin' me an earnest smile.

Now it does mah heart good to know that she still looks up ta me after that whole debacle in the fire swamp. Ah can't help but feel mighty foolish about how ah acted back then, what with me smotherin' her like that. It's just…ah love her so much. Ah can't imagine anythin' bad happenin' to her._'Ah'm really lucky ta have a sister like her. Gosh, ah would've been furious with Mac if he…nah, ah'd still love that ol' lug. Family make mistakes now an' again an' I ain't goin' ta make the same mistake twice.'_

I nuzzled her lil' head. "Love ya, Apple Bloom."

"Love ya too, Applejack."

Family…The world isn't anythin' without 'em.

"Can we stop all this mushy stuff?" Scootaloo asked. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Me an' mah sister rolled our eyes. _'She really is a second Rainbow.'_ "Now don't get all huffy," ah told her. "Ah'm sure you wouldn't be so sick if Rainbow was nuzzlin' ya."

Scootaloo blushed in embarrassment an' looked away. "Not true."

Ah just chuckled. "Sure ya are." Ah wiped the sweat from mah brow. "Ah think we're done fer the day. Why don't you three come and grab some grub. Granny's bakin' some sweet apple pies."

"Sounds good to me," Sweetie Belle said. The little filly was out of breath. She kind of reminded me of Winona on a hot day. Hopefully, Rarity won't mind findin' her all sweaty after a good hard days' work. _'Probably will.'_

It didn't take us long ta get back to the house. Thankfully, an' ah do mean thankfully, the CMC had worn themselves out enough that they were as quiet as sheep asleep by the creek…

That's one of Granny's sayin's. Ah'm rather fond of it.

After knockin' on the door, mah big brother opens it up wide. Ah can already tell by the annoyed look on his face what was up.

Big Mac was never one for talkin'. Especially after….Nope! Not thinkin' about that.

And since he wasn't a talker, ah had to learn ta read his body language and guess what he was a thinkin'. Over the years, ah've gotten so good at it that ah think ah know him better than he does himself. Might be wrong though. He is a really deep fella. Wish more mares could see that, instead of just checkin' out his backside.

One scoldin' glare fixes their gaze right quick.

"Granny Smith?" Ah said.

"Eyup."

"Old stories?"

"Eyup."

"Tryin' to talk yer ear off?"

"Eyup."

Ah sighed. "Well tell her that Apple Bloom's friends are staying for dinner."

"Eyup," he said, before we walked to the kitchen.

Good ol' Granny had just placed the fresh apple pie on top of the table. Boy howdy, if joy had a smell, this would've been it. It's no secret that the apples made the best darn apple products in the world. Ah don't mean to brag about it, but it's true. Just seein' the pie made my stomach growl.

"Granny," Big Mac spoke up. "We've got guests."

"Guests, you say?" Granny Smith looked up at 'em, her old eyes fell on the CMC. Smilin', she gestured to the table. "Well sit on down. Ain't nothin' better ta feed a hungry pony than a fresh, apple pie."

You've got that right, Granny.

It didn't take us long ta divide the pie between us and ah'm glad about that. Ah haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch. Seems ah need to teach myself not to overwork…again. _'Well, no matter. Ah'm goin' ta enjoy this.'_ Ah couldn't help but lick my lips like a wolf sizin' up its prey, as ah stared at the piece of pie in front of me.

Course, life has a funny way of interruptin' things. This 'interruption' took the form of our town's own mailmare, Ditzy Doo.

The mare smashed right through our door like it was nothin' an' smackin' right into the wall behind me. The impact sound made me cringe. Ah was surprised she just cracked the wall when she hit it, instead of bustin' right through. She was pretty much the town's wrecking ball, causin' more damage then any other beast that showed its ugly hide in town. _'It's almost like she's made of iron.'_'Course, she was still a good mare and without a doubt, a great mother.

As she slid to the floor, ah immediately got up an' went to her side. "Ya okay, Ditzy?"

Ditzy, with speed an' agility that made me think she's Pinkie's cousin or somethin', got back to her hooves and smiled at her. "Of course I am." The mare was always bubbly. Ah think ah I can count on my hooves the times ah've seen her frown. She picked up her hat, dusted it off, and put it back on her head to complete her mailpony get-up. "Sorry about the door." She blushed in embarrassment.

Ah just snorted in amusement. "Happens."

Ah swear, that gall could survive bein' crushed by a dragon. No other pony has taken the beatin' this girl goes through and shrugs it off like it's nothin'….Maybe I should ask her how she does it one day. Might come in handy during a scuffle.

"So, what brought ya…"

She cut me off, after she quickly dug into her mail-bag an' handed me a light yellow letter. "You've got mail."

"Thanks," ah took it and gave her a nod of gratitude.

"You're welcome." Ditzy said, before trottin' happily out the destroyed door.

Ah couldn't help but shake my head and chuckled. _'Never change, Ditzy. Never change.'_

"Who's the letter from, big sis?" Apple Bloom asked.

Giving the letter a once over, I couldn't find anything except an address to our house. Ah couldn't help but shrug. "Don't rightly know, but there's only one way ta find out." Grippin' the edge of the letter in mah teeth, ah ripped it open.

Ah wish ah hadn't, for the next thing ah know there's a white flash that made me and mah family cover their eyes. And then, ah heard a voice ah wished ah was dreadin' to hear.

"Hola, my dear Applejack, Discord's back!" The spirit shouted.

Ah lowered mah hoof from mah and glared at him. He was wearin' a sombrero and a poncho, while holdin' a trumpet. A pony mariachi band was behind him, playing music ah'd hear down in Mexicolt. Discord started playing, dancing around her and mah family.

"Discord, what the hay are you doin' here?" Ah couldn't help but ask him, raisin' mah voice.

"Oh don't be like that, my dear Applejack," Discord stopped beside me. "Turn that frown, upside down."

"Ah'll turn yer head upside down if ya don't skedaddle." If there was one bein' on this planet ah couldn't deal with, it's Discord. That selfish varmint was a nuisance whether he was good or bad. The farther he was away, the happier ah am. Ah still hadn't forgiven him for making me sick.

"Ah, but how can I leave now? I've been out soul searching and I've realized something's missing."

"Yer mind?"

Discord tilted his head back and gave out an uproarious laugh. "Oh my dear Applejack, you know how to make me smile."

'_Ah'd rather know how to make ya shut up.'_

"Anyways, while I was pondering I visited our good friend Cadance. She made me realize something."

"What?" Ah couldn't help but start to sweat. Discord realizing somethin' isn't a good thing.

He spread his arms out wide, with an overly happy expression on his face. "I'm in love!"

"Well that's nice," Granny Smith spoke up. "But that don't give ya any right ta barge in here durin' supper. Now scram, youngin', or ah'll smack ya upside the head with mah cane."

Discord pouted. "Why, how rude of you, Granny. I thought we were friends. If I recall, I gave you those excellent dance moves. I've never seen any better."

Granny Smith scowled. "Don't make me come over there."

Discord nervously put his hands up in surrender. "Shutting up. I'm shutting up."

"And stop that racket," Granny put her hooves over her ears.

Sighing, Discord snapped his fingers and the band, and his costume, disappeared. Ah'd have been lyin' if ah said ah hated the music. Might have been pleasant, if not fer the company. "I concede to you, oh mighty Granny Smith." He bowed deeply. "Though I do question your taste in music."

Rollin' mah eyes, ah spoke up again. "Discord, while ah am happy fer ya findin' love, why'd ya come over?"

"Because of you, my dear Applejack," was his response. He poked me in the snout with one his fingers.

Mah mind went blank. "Why?"

"Because I wish to court you."

Those words…Those words pretty much changed everythin'.

"WHAT!?" Us mares of the Apple family shouted.

"Nope." Mah big brother just shook his head.

***back in the Crystal Empire, with Princess Cadance***

If there is one place I love as much as the battlefield, it's the spa. It's a place to sit back and unwind after a hard day's rule and get away from the stuck up nobles that visited me time after time. _'I can't believe that some of them are still trying to court me. I'm a married mare, for crying out loud.' _

I was currently undergoing my daily message as I lay on my stomach on a sterile platform. A crystal pony, a light yellow mare with a two tone mane of pink and greenish blue, worked my back. Her name was Honeycomb and let me tell you this. She has magic hooves and they were doing wonders on my back. I couldn't but let out little 'oohs' and 'ahhs' as she took all my pain and cramps away. _'She deserves a raise.'_

"You seem to have a few more knots than usual, Your Majesty." My masseur spoke up. She was a young mare, kind mare. I made a mental note to try and find her soul mate soon. She deserved to be her happiest.

I nodded. "Discord came by this morning. He came by asking about what is love and I've been nervous ever since."

"I see. I hear he's quite the troublemaker."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "You don't even know the half of it...I just can't help but think he's doing something now, plotting some 'love' related prank." I ground my teeth harshly against one another.

"Your Majesty, calm down. You're tensing up."

Sighing, I did as she asked. "I'm sorry. It's just that love is something you can't take advantage of and Discord…He's Discord." The way I said it made it seem like that alone explained everything…Which it pretty much does. Love is serious business and Discord's the least serious being I know.

"Well, don't you worry. If he steps out of line, I'm sure you can knock some sense back into him."

I smirked. "You're right." I actually liked that idea. He may have been the god of chaos, but I was trained in every single possible fighting and magic technique known to ponykind. I could knock some sense into him the old fashion way.

But just as I was starting to relax and let Discord drift out of my thoughts, I felt something. It was some kind of wavelength that just screamed at me. I quickly stood up, knocking my masseur back. "I'm sorry." I quickly went over and helped her up.

"Don't worry, Your Majesty. I'm fine." She brushed herself off. "What was that all about?"

"I felt…I felt a disturbance. As if several ponies cried out in distress and then suddenly went silent."

"Could it be Discord's work?"

I nodded. "Oh most definitely and seeing as I felt it…He's going to have to answer to me." I narrowed my eyes._'Discord, if you break someone's heart, I'll break your spine.'_I turned around and started off. "I best be off."

"But what about the rest of your appointment," Honeycomb spoke up. "I didn't even get a change to finish your message."

Stopping in my tracks, I realized that she was right. There were still a few rough spots and kinks that were giving me trouble. 'No,' I told myself. _'I'm going to set Discord straight now, before this gets out of hoof.'_

"And your wings do look like they a good preen."

Sighing, I went back over and laid down before her. She had a point there as well. It wasn't exactly safe to fly with un-preened wings. It just leads to a whole slew of complications that could put your life in danger. "You have a point, Honeycomb." I make it my business to know each and every one of my ponies names. I'm just thankful us Alicorns have such great memory.

As Honeycomb got to work, I used that time to think about all the ways I would break Discord. _'Let's see. A crowbar could work wonders. I mean, if that stallion I knew in Black Mesa could make it work, so can I.' _


	3. Chapter 3

Ya know, out of all the times in mah life ah've never been made so speechless as right now.

"WHAT!"

Okay, not totally speechless, but ah mean what ah say an' ah say what ah mean.

Ah knew this day was a comin'. Ah ain't stupid. Ah may not be as flamboyant as Rarity and show off mah looks, but ah know ah catch the eye of a few stallions. Caught some of 'em with my hoof too when they got too frisky.

It just…was so out there that Discord would be the fella ta want ta court me. Ah've seen a lot of things that were just so strange ta me…Most of them involvin' Discord.

Ah'm not as flabbergasted about this as before.

But still, courtin' me? Ah thought ah was the last mare he'd pick. Too plain; to simple. But nope, lucky fer me he's nuttier then a squirrel so of course he asks me. Ah got ta put a stop ta this crazy train 'fore it goes off tracks. Which might be in the next few seconds.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" Discord rolled his eyes. He held up signs fer each of the next words. "I! Wish! To! Court! Applejack!"

"Ah got that," Ah told him. Just bein' this close ta the walking disaster was givin' me a headache. "But what in Equestria makes you think ah want that?"

Ah could tell by the growin' smirk on his face that ah wasn't going ta like his answer. Puttin' his eagle finger under mah chin, he lifted me up to meet his gaze. His face was a close ta mah own. "Oh Applejack, don't lie to me. I know you better than that."

Ah couldn't but blush at the closeness…Ah didn't like it one bit, but it was might embarrassin' of him ta be doin' it in front of mah family. Scowlin' mighty fierce, ah snorted. "Ya don't know me period, 'cause ah ain't no liar."

Thankfully, he took his finger away from me as he chuckled. "I know you're too shy to admit your infatuation with me."

"Ah don't have an infatuation with ya," Mah glare would have pierced his hide if it could.

"Yeah," Apple Bloom spoke up. She frowned an' then looked at me. "What does 'infatuation' mean?"

Before ah could answer, Discord wrapped an arm around me and pulled me out of mah chair. "It means that lil' Applejack has a soft spot for mean ol' Discord." He pinched mah cheek and cooed. Ah really wished ah was on the ground. Ah'd have bucked him in his crown jewels. "If only she would stop being all tsuntsun."

Continuin' to glare, I spoke up "Big Mac?"

"Eyup," mah brother pushed the chair back an' got up.

Discord let go an' let me drop to the ground. _'Real nice thing ta do ta the mare ya want ta court.'_I thought to myself as ah tried to ignore the pain in mah rump.

Discord backed up slightly with a nervous grin. The big sweat drop on his head was a tad distractin'. Ah honestly like that look on him._'Feels nice to see him back up against a corner fer once.'_"Now let's not get hasty here. I meant no harm."

"Nah, ya just wanted to mess with me," Ah snorted. Ah wasn't feelin' like dealin' with the varmint and his bag of tricks.

Frownin', he crossed his arms. "I didn't come here to bug you…much."

"AH-HA!" Ah pointed mah hoof at him in victory. "Ah knew it."

"But I really did come here to court you."

"Say what?" Mah sense of victory was gone in a flash.

Discord grumbled. "Do I have to keep repeating myself? Or…"Discord smiled at me.

'_Ah don't like where this is goin'.'_ Ah started ta sweat. "Or what?"

Discord raised one of his hands and prepared his infamous 'snap'. "We can skip the courting altogether."

Both me an' him vanished an' not to soon appeared in some small buildin'. Ah couldn't help but look around ta check where that blasted spirit took me to. _'Kind of looks like a church…Dear Celestia no.'_Mah eyes widened in fear.

Ah was dressed in one of them fancy tuxedos, all neat an' proper fer a weddin'. A young preacher, with several gold teeth an' wearin' a rather sloppy tuxedo, smiled at me. The kind of smile that made ya just want to punch him. Not as much as ah wanted to punch Discord, but still quite a bit of hate.

The place reeked of alcohol an', if ah was correct, the preacher hadn't bathed in weeks. _'An' people call me filthy.'_Ah snorted.

But ya know what the worst thing was?

The worst thing was eyeing Discord and mah eyes nearly popped out of mah skull an' mah jaw went slack. There stood the god of chaos in all his glory…wearin' a white weddin' dress.

"Are you ready, Applejack-chan?" Discord tilted his head cutely and fluttered his now girlish eyelashes.

Ah could feel the heat rushin' ta mah cheeks. Out of all his antics, this was the last thing ah ever thought or wanted ta see. _'Well, he kind of looks cute.'_

"We are gathered here today to join these two lovebirds in holy matrimony," The preacher read from a small yellow book in his hooves. His voice was nasally and extremely whiny. _'Which just makes me want ta punch him that much more.'_

Discord huffed in agitation an' moved his tail over to the book. Turnin' the pages, he said "I think you can skip ahead just a bit. I don't think my beloved wants to be here that long."

Ah shook mah head to wake me up from the daze ah was in. Stompin' mah hoof in anger, I shouted "DISCORD!"

The preacher fell backwards in surprise and Discord chuckled. "Yes, my dear Applejack?"

"Take me back."

Frownin', he looked at me curiously. "Why ever would you want that? We haven't even…"

"Ah don't want ta deal with your games right now, Discord."

"Games? I assure you, this is no game…" He tapped his chin. "But it would make for an excellent one, now that I think about it. 'Random weddings'. Good title. I think I might use it."

Ah couldn't believe he was just ramblin' on 'bout nothin'. He wasn't takin' this seriously and that was pissin' me off. 'If ah can get a little closer, ah'm sure ah can get in a good buck before he can react.' "Discord, listen ta me."

Discord then turned himself into a flying ear. "I'm all ear, my dear Applejack." His eyes an' mouth could still be seen an' they shown with mirth.

Ah had to put a hoof to mah head, rubbing it to sooth the headache ah was getting'. _'Calm breaths, Applejack. Calm breaths.'_Puttin' mah hoof back down, ah looked at him with determination. "Take me back."

Frownin', he turned back into his regular self. "Why? We haven't even wed yet?...Or do you ponies do something else before the wedding? I apologize, this is a kind of new for me."

"What in landsakes did ya get this idea ta court me anyways?" Ah asked him.

Discord pulled an' apple out from behind his back. "This, my dear Applejack."

Ah raised an' eyebrow. "An apple?"

Discord nodded. "An apple. That's what made me realize my true feelings and led me down the road to matrimony."

Now Ah've heard of apples changin' ponies lives. Ah've seen the joy an' happiness they bring. Hay, my ancestor, Isaac Neighton, discovered gravity thanks ta an apple. But this….

"That's still not a reason ta marry me. Nor does it make me want ta marry you."

Discord gasped somethin' fierce. Kind of reminded me of Rarity fer a second. "Applejack, what more of a reason to marry me, then me?"

Flashin' again, we were in a different place all together. We were by a rocky shore an' mah back was to a large rock. The waves crashed against the other rocks around, throwin' up droplets of water mah way. Ah also noticed ah was in a rather form fittin' red dress which made me blush. Ah'm not the type for such dress-wear.

Mah tormentor, Discord, appeared in a white, somewhat unbuttoned shirt, brown pants, an' his mane flew in a non-existant wind. He gave his best 'seductive' gaze. "My charisma and good looks are things the ladies adore. You should be honored."

'_Honored? HONORED?!'_Ah had it up ta here with that no good spirit. "There isn't going ta be a weddin'. Now take me back home."

Ah may have said that a bit too harshly, 'cause he seemed a tad bit hurt by that. _'It shouldn't be surprisin' ta him. He just threw this all on me out of nowhere.'_

"As you wish," he said 'fore we were back in mah kitchen. "I still don't…YEOW!" Discord pulled his tail close to his body, attemptin' to keep it safe. Apparently, Granny Smith had tried to crush it with her cane.

Ah couldn't help but chuckle as Granny started ta talk to him. "Ya nasty, good fer nothin', varmint. Bargin' into our home an' takin' Applejack like that is disrespectful an' just plain rude. Ya should be ashamed of yerself."

"I am the god of chaos," Discord said, sendin' her a small glare. Ah hated ta see him do that. Granny deserved none of that ire. "I can do what I want, when I want. And I want Applejack."

"Ya can't have her," Granny's glare was much fiercer than Discords'. Ah didn't like bein' talked about like this. Like somethin' ya can just give or take. Ah'm Applejack, not a lamp. "Ah ain't welcomin' a…whatever ya are into my family, especially with those nasty manners of yers."

"Nasty manners?" Discord growled an' snapped his fingers. He was dressed in a frilly dress suit, with a cane, top hat, an's monocle. "I am full manner and class. I was the one who defined it several eons ago, if I do recall."

Granny snorted. "An' yer a liar ta boot. Get out, or ah'll turn mah cane on yer sorry hide. Celestia knows ya need a good thrashin'."

Discord loomed over her, but Granny didn't flinch. She's a hard mare an' the likes of Discord don't scare her none. He lowered his gaze to her level. "I'd like to see you try."

Ah quickly got in between the two 'fore somepony did somethin' they'd regret. "Calm down ya two. This isn't somethin' ta fight over."

"Oh, I believe it is something to fight over." Discord announced. He pointed his cane at me. "I swear to you, my dear Applejack. I will have you if it's the last thing I do." Ah was surprised ta see the determination in his gaze. An' then he was gone in a flash.

"Good riddance," Granny snorted.

Him bein' gone didn't make me feel any better. Actually, ah felt worried sick. _'What's this game he's playin' at now? Actin' like this…An' why did he look kind of hurt when ah refused him?'_Ah remembered his last look. If he had his heart set on somethin', he wasn't gonna give up that easily…Kind of reminded me of me…'Cept, without mah good ol' Apple manners.

Ah decided to push him out of mah mind an' get back ta mah lunch. Discord was somethin' ah could try and manage later. Fer now, I had a growlin' stomach to quiet.

"Is Mister Discord gonna really court ya, big sis?" Apple Bloom spoke up.

Ah chuckled. "He can try, Apple Bloom…He can try."


	4. Chapter 4

***In the castle of the Crystal Empire***

Have you ever felt like you were marching to your doom? That's how I felt as I packed my bags for my trip. It's not the first time I've done so. To be a princess you have to be willing to face danger. Celestia taught me that well.

A simple 'fetch quest' turned into a full on battle against hundreds of changelings and a mother bucking T-rex.

Chrysalis still hasn't forgiven me for hurting her precious Toothy. It's not my fault she sent her carnivorous pet tyrannosaur against me. She should have known better.

The peril I was going to find was the worst of the bunch and I knew that. I couldn't help but pause for a few seconds between each item, reconsidering my choice. _'I should just ignore this feeling. Discord isn't being serious about this. He's never serious about anything.'_

But I knew better. I knew Discord was going to try his hand at love. And I emphasis 'try'. So each and every time I paused, I would just put the item into the bag with nary a second thought. I wouldn't back down now. Love wasn't a thing to chicken out on and I'd be darned if I was going to do so now. Chaos god or no chaos god.

"Um, sweetie," Shining Armor spoke up. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I smiled. Ever since I told him about Discord and how I was going to stop him, he'd been trying to talk me out of it. I knew he was concerned, since Discord wasn't one to play well with others. "I'll be okay, dear." I put the last item, my hair brush, inside the bag before closing it. Using my magic, I put it on my back and secured the strap. "I've faced worse."

"Cadance, this is Discord we're talking about. He isn't some mindless beast or a power hungry dictator. He's the god of chaos. A freaking god!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, but Discord's reformed now. The worse he can do is dye my coat for a week or something. He won't hurt me." _'I won't return the favor if he's doing what I think he's doing.'_I started to make my way to the door. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can. That's what bothers me." I heard him sigh. "I'm just worried something's going to happen. I mean, you and Twilight go get yourselves thrown into dangerous situations time and time again. And what do I do during all that? Guard some walls, get cursed, or file taxes. I just...want to keep you safe and I fail at that spectacularly."

'_Ouch.'_ I frowned and froze up on the spot. I hated to hear him with such a sad tone and he had a point. I get danger thrown at me all the time and Shining, for the most part, isn't there. He must hate himself for being unable to protect me and his own little sister from the world. I never stopped for a moment to think about him or take him along on an epic quest. _'I..I've been a selfish princess.'_

Quickly and without a second thought, I nuzzled underneath his chin, raising it higher. "Speak not of the woes of the past, for sooth, our future is as bright as the sun in the sky."

Shining chuckled. "You still remember that?"

Pulling back a bit so I can look my soul-mate in the eyes, I nodded. "I remember the dork who tried to court a princess, as well as the words you spoke after my father's…passing." My ears fell back. My father had passed away when I was but a young filly. It had been a hard time for me and my family. Shining had been a light in the darkness, steering me away from the seas of despair.

Nuzzling me back like the lovable teddy bear that he is made me smile. "Let's not dwell on that, Cadance. You don't want to waste any more time on your quest. I'll look after the kingdom while you're gone. Who knows, maybe I'll get to fend off a Tundra Dog invasion or something like that. I bet that'll make you jealous."

I giggled. "Extremely." I couldn't help but kiss him. It was short but oh was it so sweet. "Just stay in one piece, okay?"

Shining laughed. _'Gosh, I love that sound.'_ "I'll do my best."

"I know you will, you big lug you." Giving him a sweet eskimo kiss, I headed back towards the door. "Oh and dear."

"Yes, Cadance?"

"If you're a good boy while I'm gone, I'll be sure to properly…reward you." My alluring emphasis on the word was enough to tip him off, but I decided to wiggle my plot for him to pound in the reference. _'Don't think about pounding and Shining now, Cadance. You have a job to do.'_

I could clearly hear Shining going to attention and saluted me. I knew he was probably blushing too, which I find so cute. "I'll make you proud, ma'am."

"Good boy." I decided to give him one last treat and swayed my hips as I left, adding a passing wink behind me. Needless to say, he fell over in a heated blush and weak knees. I giggled. _'I still got it.'_

As I travelled down the hallways, I pondered how and where I would have to go to find the spirit. _'Let's see. He mentioned that the apple would lead him to the mare he desired...Which means it's most likely a member of the Apple clan.'_

The Apples were among the oldest, strongest, and wealthiest of the fruit clans. They had leading members in several cities, such as Manehattan as well as founding several more small towns: Ponyville and Appleloosa just to name a couple examples.

'_Sorting through all the mares in that family will be tough, but somepony's got to do it.'_I just had to find a way to find the mare Discord chose, but who could…

My smile nearly split my face. _'I think a trip to Manehattan will do me some good.'_

* * *

***in Manehattan***

Did I mention I hate Manehattan…No? Well, I'll repeat myself.

I HATE MANEHATTAN!

Seriously, it's like the whole city is filled to the brim with jerks and tight wads. From the very moment I arrived in the train station to standing outside this door in front of me, I had to deal with several complaints and criticisms. It's like the citizens of this city can't recognize royalty to save their lives. Either that or they just don't care.

'_If I ever go insane, Manehattan will be the first to go.'_

I gently knocked on the door, careful to not let any of my frustration show. It didn't take long for an orange stallion, known as Mosely Orange. The moment he noticed who I was, his eyebrows raised in surprise and he quickly bowed. "Your Majesty, of what do I owe this honor?"

And just like that, some of my frustration melted away. While I prefer to be treated like everypony else, a little respect was always welcome. Especially after the horrendous attitude of most of the Manehattan populace. "Please, rise. I don't wish for my friends to bow to me."

And so he did. "My apologies, Your…Cadance. It's a force of habit."

I chuckled. "I know."

Yes, I considered the Oranges to be my friends. When I was younger, before I even became an Alicorn, my family travelled all over the world. A few times, we stopped by Manehattan so my mother could meet up with a friend; Orange Sherbert. The Oranges treated me as if I was one of the family and I loved them for it. Not to mention how they loved to spoil me rotten. Mother was sure to stomp out any and all signs of battiness though and I thank her for that. Celestia forbid I become one of those vapid, elite airheads that I meet all the time in Canterlot. I internally shuddered at the thought.

"May I come in?" I asked.

"Of course," and without another word, I entered their abode. The Oranges currently resided in an extravagant suite that seemed to scream 'I'm rich'. At the very least, everything seemed to have been made within Equestria's borders, instead of being imported from other countries, which a lot of nobles and upper class ponies loved to do. _'Kind of undermining our own craftsponies, aren't you fellas?'_

"Cadance, darling," I was soon greeted by the pleasant voice's owner. An orange, earth pony mare who seemed to exude 'rich country girl' vibes strolled up to her. Without a second thought, she wrapped me up in a hug that nearly squeezed the life out of me. The city life surely did nothing to curb her Apple strength. Pulling back, she gave me a motherly smile. "You're lucky you arrived now. We were just on our way to that new restaurant that opened up downtown. Lively place it is, full of good honest ponies and classical music." She sighed happily. "But enough of that, whatever brought you here, darling? Is ruling the Crystal Empire putting too much strain on your shoulders?"

I shook my head. "Far from it…It's just that I need the Apple family records. Something's come up and well…"

"Well what?" Orange Sherbert asked.

I hesitated about telling Sherbert about Discord and his intentions. I already had some inkling about the mares or mare he would choose, but I wanted it to double check before anything serious could pop up. Tipping the Oranges off to what was happening would stress them out and she didn't want to do that. "I just want to make sure everything's alright. We don't want our crops to spoil and whatnot."

Orange Sherbert nodded in understanding. "No, we surely don't." She then waved a foreleg over to their private kitchen. "Would you care for some tea perhaps?"

"But I don't want to keep you from your meal. A quick look at the records and I'll be out of your mane."

"Nonsense. You're a princess and like family to me. It'd be extremely rude on my part if I didn't show you some hospitality."

"But…"

"No buts," and like that, she was nudging me to the kitchen. "A little cup of tea won't kill you."

I sighed in defeat. I knew Sherbert and she wasn't going to give up on something once she had her mind set. I briefly wondered if this was a trait shared in the Apple family. "Fine, but just one cup."

"Splendid," Sherbert chimed. "Dearie, Princess Cadance will be staying over for a while."

Mosely Orange entered the kitchen. "Good to hear. It's been ages since we've seen you. Was your trip here peaceful?"

I nodded. "Of course it was." No one would ever dare to attack a train from the Crystal Empire. Just one look at those monsters and anyone would be sent running. I designed them to be as frightening as possible…And offensive. I still remember the time I drove it through Chrysalis's throne room.

In my defense, she stole my favorite plate.

"Good," Mosely said.

"I do so hope the riff-raff didn't give you any trouble," Sherbert sent me a concerned gaze. "I know the ponies of this city can certainly be a hoof-full at times."

"It was…manageable." I said. I didn't need to go over any incidents. The Oranges could already tell I had gone through quite a bit in the short time I was in the city. "My own personal guard was able to fend off the worst of it."

Mosely raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "Oh, I didn't see any guards with you when you came in."

"I decided to let him go explore and see some of the sights," I told them. It was one of the reasons I brought Flash Sentry along. Other than being fun company, he wanted to go see 'Hinny of the Hills' as well as sight-seeing. I couldn't help but find him adorable on the train ride here. He was like an excitable colt in the morn of 'Hearth's Warming Eve'. _'Oh, why must he be so shippable? I need to find that pony a marefriend stat before I go mad with ideas.'_

Before the conversation could get any further, low and behold I found myself looking at the being I was looking for…Dressed as a dodo bird.

I really don't want to know.

The infernal god of chaos had his hand together in a pleading fashion as he sent me a puppy dog stare. "Help me Candy, you are my only hope."

I glared at him. "My name's not Candy."

"Would you rather I call you Fred?"

"….Point taken," I facehooved. My head was already pounding within seconds of dealing with him. _'Pain, pain, go away. Come again…never.'_

Discord glanced over at Orange Sherbert. "Who's she?"

"I'm…" she started but Discord raised a finger to silence her.

"Wait…bored now, don't care." He flashed over beside me and took me up in one of his arms. "TO THE THINKING TREE! ALONZ-Y!"

And just like that, I was in the branches of the thinking tree. I didn't question why he brought me here, but I did question why he decided to then put a red helmet on my head that had a giant feather sticking out. Pointing to it, I asked "Why?"

Discord took on a serious expression. "Candy, don't. Don't ask that. Chaos isn't something you should ask 'why' if you want to keep you sanity."

I took his words to heart and kept quiet.

"But to answer your question," Discord started, leaning back on a nearby branch. "It's to protect you from the tree. It seems to have started a revolution." As he finished saying that, the tree bark parted to form the words 'Viva la Tree'. Discord rolled his eyes and kicked the tree, causing the words to vanish. "It also keeps mixing up languages. You're lucky it wrote the words in Equish. Gallopfreyan is so much harder to read."

"If the tree is giving you problems, then why bring me here? And why a dodo?" Okay, I know the last one was just asking for my sanity to be ripped out, but I had to.

"Because it's my tree, whether it wants to form a Republic or not," he sent it a quick glare, before focusing on me again. "And the dodo suit is to confuse it. It won't know it's me, since dodo's are extinct and all."

'_If I could be made to 'derp' by stupidity, I'd be permanently derped by the sheer 'what' that was Discord.'_"But dodo's aren't extinct. We have some in Canterlot's royal zoo. I could take you there if you like?" Honestly, a trip to the zoo would have been a nice breather for me. That and I loved dodos. When I was a filly, I asked my mom if we could have one, but she kept telling me no. They aren't exactly known for having good temperaments, but I've never had trouble with them.

Discord frowned. "They aren't?" I shook my head. He sighed. "Oh pooh. My brilliant plan has been foiled by conservation. You ponies can't let me have any fun, can you?" Discord 'poofed' the disguise away. "Now, on to my problem?"

"Which problem?"

Discord huffed. "How I can win the heart of the fair maiden, Applejack."

I just stared at Discord for the longest time, my brain taking the longest time to load properly. But it did and all I had to say was this.

"SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"


	5. Chapter 5

Being the goddess of Love pretty much makes me the goddess of shipping.

No, not like 'shipping and handling'. That'd be stupid and unnecessary. I mean, whoever heard of a mailpony princess...Yeah, that was hypocritical and mean of me to say. Come on, I babysitted countless little fillies and colts. Not the most princessy job out there.

Anyways, in all my years I've seen some odd couples: Sea-ponies and changelings, donkeys and griffons, Troodon and ponies. But this right here took the cake…And ate it voraciously.

"Applejack?!" I shouted. "You want to court Applejack?!"

Discord's head was rattling about, shaken up by my scream. Placing his hands on his head to steady it, he gave me a quick glare. "Yes, that's what I said. Are you ponies hard of hearing or something?"

"But but but," I stammered. My mind couldn't possibly come up with the right words to say at the moment. I knew I was going to have to get used to this feeling. I never did.

"But what?" Discord's neck stretched until his face got right up into mine. I couldn't help but reel back, trying to distance myself at least a little from touching him. I saw the slight smirk on his face.

It took me a moment to come up with a response. It's kind of hard to talk when all…that is just thrust upon you, not to mention the god of chaos shoving his face in my own. "But you barely know her."

Discord scoffed and reeled back his neck. "I know enough."

"Like?" I raised an eyebrow.

"She's an apple," Discord raised the fateful apple. "And I am destined to be her very special…something or another."

Oh, I could see his determination as plain as day. If there was one thing I learned about Discord, he's persistent. That and he's got enough pride and ego to coat the world thrice over. But I had one question. A very important question indeed.

"But do you know her?"

Discord looked at me with a tilted head and a confused expression. "What?"

"Do you know her?" I said with a little more force.

Discord chuckled. "Well, of course I know her. She's Applejack."

"And?"

Discord started touching the fingers on his right hand as he counted. "She lives on a farm, wears a Stetson, is friends with Fluttershy…."

"And?" I made a motion with my hooves for him to continue. 'He has to have something else. Something substantial.'

"She lives with her family…." Discord started tapping his chin.

"Anything else?" I all but growled. I was getting sick of this. I know I shouldn't lose my temper. He's Discord, this was something he usually did. But come on! That's basic!

"She's orange." He offered half-heartedly. He even went on to shrug as though anything more didn't matter.

"And that's it?" I gave him my best 'unamused face'.

Snapping his fingers and giving out a laugh, he booped my nose. "That's it. That adorable face she makes when she has to put up with me. You nailed it with a capital N!" The next thing I knew, I was holding a large Orange N and Discord was wearing a green game show suit and blowing on a pink party horn! The letter fit perfectly in my forehooves and thankfully, it didn't weigh anything. It almost felt like holding solid air. _'It might actually be just that.'_ I mused.

But that doesn't matter. What does matter is the hot blush spread across my face. _'He called my 'unamused face' adorable.'_ I simply didn't know how to take that. Yes, he was comparing me to Applejack, but still. I wasn't used to people calling me cute in a situation like that. Whenever I gave Shining that expression, he gets all panicky and tries to talk his way out. Needless to say, I find his antics so delightful. Except when he forgets about our anniversary for one of his game convention things. _'A week on the couch was being too nice.'_Discord apparently didn't take me being serious…seriously. I kind of liked that.

Shaking away the blush and my wayward thoughts, I shot him a harsh glare. "And that's all?"

Discord nodded. "What else can I say? She's one in a million billion Gazillion!" The god plucked an abacus up from behind him with his tail and started randomly moving the pieces. "I did the math."

I face-hooved and sighed. "We all have to start somewhere, I suppose." I took my hoof off my face. "So all we need to do is go to Applejack and…"

"Already did that."

I frowned. "What?"

"I already went to her today." Discord stated. He was filing his nails with a cheese grater. "She seems a little reluctant to go through with the idea. So I just asked her to marry me."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" The force of my voiced rivalled, if not surpassed, Luna's Royal Canterlot voice.

Discord was blown off the tree, but appeared next to me in a flash. The god of chaos laughed. "You've definitely got a pair of lungs on you. Are you sure you aren't Luna's daughter?"

"YES!"

Discord rolled his eyes and put an arm around me, pulling me to his side. I would be lying if I said his fur wasn't soft and inviting…Not like Shining's, but a good runner up. "What's got you all in a hiffy fit?"

Looking up at him, I grit my teeth, giving him the harshest of glares. "You asked her to marry you."

"Yes, and?"

"You don't just marry beings you barely know."

"Well what about arranged marriages?"

"Those were put out of practice ages ago. Nopony does that barbaric practice anymore." 'Good riddance.' I thought. Forcing ponies to marry each other wasn't something I could condone in the slightest.

Discord tapped his chin. "Times have changed much since I've been gone."

"Yes, and for the better." I huffed in annoyance. Discord's out of date mannerisms were bad, but at least they weren't 'Luna' bad.

You don't want to know what I have to put up with when dealing with her. If you thought Discord could be annoying, Luna is a whole other level. At least Discord's doing it on purpose and you can have fun along the way.

"So, what's wrong with what I did? Applejack should be honored that a god such I desires her."

"Honored?" And just like that, my anger burst forth. Pushing the annoying spirit away, I flared my wings in a sign of aggression. It's a staple thing all pegasi do. It goes back to ancient times. Pegasi perform the act to make themselves look larger and more intimidating then they already are, in hopes of scaring off rivals and predators. As the goddess of love, this made me purely terrifying to behold. "You think she should be honored?"

"Yes?" Discord seemed unsure of his answer and he should be. The god of chaos was starting to sweat.

"She shouldn't be honored that you like her," I harshly poked his chest. "She should feel flattered. Although, I don't even think she should feel that. Not after that comment."

"What comment?"

Growling, I tried to explain. "Just because you're a god, doesn't mean you can have what you want. It also doesn't mean everyone should bend over backwards and love the ground you walk on."

"That's not as fun as it sounds." Discord huffed in agitation, crossing his arms.

"Marriage is a serious matter, Discord. It is something sacred and beautiful. Both parties have to love and support one another."

Discord just mouthed my words in a mocking fashion. "Yes, I know."

"And does Applejack love you?"

"That doesn't…"

Before I could stop myself, I pounced on him. Unluckily for the both of us, we fell of the branch. Lucky for me, it wasn't a long fall and I landed on top of him. Discord groaned, no doubt in both pain and discomfort. I didn't care. I just put my face in his, staring into his eyes and his very soul. "YES! It does matter. Applejack matter, or are you just using her for some sick game?"

Discord growled and glared back up at me, which was a little surprising. Not many creatures can do so without any fear. The only other was Chrysalis. "I'm not fooling around with this, Cadance. If I just wanted to joke with her, I wouldn't get you involved. I wouldn't drag you into my thinking tree, which you so rudely knocked me out of, and ask for your help."

"Then take this seriously, Discord," I gave him a pleading look. "Don't treat this like a game. This is Applejack's heart we're talking about. Do you really want to break it?"

"I'm not a murderer, Candy," Discord rolled his eyes. "No matter what those little kiddy stories would lead you to believe. Nor am I without a heart. Breaking one is the last thing I want to do…anymore."

"Then do this right." I got off him, allowing him to stand and brush himself off. "Love Applejack and let her love you."

Discord sighed and hung his head. "Oh, and pray tell me how? I believe I, as the ponies these day say, suck at love."

Smiling, I nuzzled his side. "With a little help and determination, that's how."

Discord chuckled. "I'm not used to having help. I'll probably make this extremely irksome for you."

I giggled. "Oh, no doubt." And I meant that, but I couldn't help but aid the god of chaos with this little adventure. Especially now, seeing him so down and put off. It wasn't something I liked seeing and by my Aunts, I was going to make him happy.

"So Candy, what are we going to do now?"

Grinning like a madmare, I addressed him. "The same thing I always do, Discord. Make love work."

* * *

***Sweet Apple Acres***

It was like any other afternoon on the farm. Ah was buckin' trees like there was no tomorrow fer the upcomin' celebration in town:

Hearts and Hooves Day.

Never really cared much fer the darn holiday. Ah always felt like it was made ta rub us single ponies the wrong way. Like we were unnatural, bein' without a special somepony. _'Ah'll get one, when ah get one, ya blasted varmints.'_Ah thought.

Anyways, ah was workin' with ma little sister collectin' apples, when ah felt mah spine go frigid cold. Shakin', ah also felt a slight headache comin' up, and mah behind was twitchin' up a storm. Ta tell ya'll the truth…ah was a bit scared of what was goin' on with mah body.

Apple Bloom noticed this and shot me a concerned gaze. "Are ya alright, big sis?"

"Ah'm fine, Apple Bloom," Ah didn't want her to fret none. She don't need her little self worryin' about her big sis. "Ah just cramped up a bit."

"Kind of looked like one of Pinkie's senses ta me," Apple Bloom said.

Ya know, ah always wondered what Pinkie goes through when she has one of her little 'senses'. It always seemed so weird and strange, but mighty useful. Bein' able ta tell future events would work wonders fer the work on the farm. It was always just a little thought ah played with, nothin' serious. If this was it, ah felt sorry fer the pink mare.

Realizin' what she just said, ah remembered that Pinkie was kind of sort of an Apple. _'Maybe it was somethin' like that. But what could this mean?'_

Shakin' mah head, ah spoke. "It aint. It's just a cramp, nothin' serious."

Apple Bloom smiled. "Okay."

But ah knew it was mighty serious an' that ah shouldn't just brush it off. Call it a hunch, but ah knew it was some sort of doozy. Thinkin' that, ah shivered in fear. _'If it really is a doozy, ah just hope mah luck holds out.'_Ah still remember the last doozy. Ah'm still surprised that Hyrdas can walk that fast. Ah kind of pegged them as the ambush predators, ah think that's what they're called.

Gettin' back on track, ah wiped the sweat from mah brow. "Ah think we're done fer now. How does some good ol' fashioned lemonade sound?"

"Sounds mighty awesome, Applejack," Apple Bloom licked her lips.

Ah chuckled. "Good ta hear." _'Whatever comes, me an' mah family will face it head on if we have to.'_


	6. Chapter 6

If you were to tell me to not take romance seriously, I'd slap you upside the head. Love is serious business. It's like war: Anything goes and that's why you must prepare for the worst. Since I was helping Discord, the master of wrongness, I was going to utilize my full arsenal to make this work.

This venture into the field of love was going to be like frolicking in Tartarus…Which I have done before._'Daemon blood is so hard to get out of your fur. At least Chrysalis was of some help in that regard.'_

The two of us were currently in a quiet, peaceful meadow outside of town. I chose the location because sometimes….I can be a little rough. That and I knew Discord. If he was going to mess things up, I'd rather they'd just happen to me and not the innocent townsponies.

I was currently wearing the silver uniform of an acting commander of the Crystal Empire. The silk clothes fit my body perfectly if I do so say myself. Several medals and awards littered my chest, nearly filling it. Of course, those weren't all my medals, I had several more back in my empire. I knew I shouldn't have even brought this many, but I just felt like showing off to Discord. _'Maybe I just want to one-up him on something or another.'_ A pointing baton was within my magical grasp. A standing chalk board stood behind me.

The god of chaos was sitting behind a student's booth, dressed in short blue jeans, a white tee shirt with dark blue stripes, and a small, brown whirly copter hat. He was juggling a small, purple ball of flame between his fingers to keep himself occupied while I got ready.

Clearing my throat as to get the spirit of mischief's attention, I used my magic to whack the pointing baton at the chalk board behind me. The only word on it said 'love' in an overly done, royal style. Discord quickly snuffed out the fireball and started writing down on a piece of paper on his desk with a fancy peacock feather.

"If love is sure to result in victory, then you must love." I shouted at him like a drill sergeant would do to a new private. "Cupid said that and I'd say he knows a little more about love then you do pal, because he invented it," I couldn't help but smirk with the next thing I was about to say. "But then I perfected it so that no living being could beat me at my own game."

"So love is a game?" Discord brightened up.

I whacked the desk with the baton, causing the spirit to jolt back in surprise. "Do not speak out of line when I am talking, maggot."

"Yes, ma'am." Discord squeaked out.

"This isn't a motherbucking game," I snorted in anger. "This is love. The sooner you realize that, the longer you'll survive."

Discord gave me an 'unamused' stare. "I think you're taking this military thing a little too far, Candy."

I pouted. "Let me do my thing." I stomped the ground in frustration. _'Gah, he ruined the mood.'_

Discord chuckled, obviously finding my frustration cute. "Of course, you're the master here."

Smiling brightly, I nodded. "That I am, my dear pupil. Are you ready for your first lesson?" I switched to a more motherly teacher tone, seeing as my gruff drill sergeant routine wasn't going to work on him.

"Yes, Mrs. Candy," Discord chirped like a young student wishing to please their teacher.

"Good. Now, do you know what you did wrong last time you met Applejack?"

Discord's ears pinned back and he glanced away from her. "I….forced myself on to her." He slumped a little in his chair.

"Correct. That is a big no-no in the game of love. You must let it come naturally, not with force. Do you understand?" When Discord nodded but didn't look at me, I frowned. "Don't beat yourself up just yet. You still have a chance to make it up to her?"

Perking up, he righted himself back into his seat.

"There's an event coming up a week's time from now: Hearts and Hooves' Day."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Oh joy. I bet that's your favorite holiday."

"It is." I chirped happily. Oh how I love that day. It's the day of romance and finding your soul mate, settling down and raising a family. It's also kind of celebrating me in a way. It's like a loving version of the Summer Sun Celebration.

"Of course it is, but what does that have to do with me?"

I pointed to him. "You're going to escort her around the festival as her date."

Discord raised an eyebrow. I'm glad it didn't do anything funny like last time, 'cause I wasn't in the mood for his antics. This was a meeting about love, not antics of chaos…Okay, they're pretty much the same thing, but you get the gist. "And what makes you think that she'll let me take her to the fair? I may not be an expert, but she's isn't a 'lovey dovey'" Discord made hyphens with his fingers. "kind of mare."

"By following some simple steps," I used my magic to change the black board. Instead of 'love', it read 'Step one: Assist her'. "You see, Applejack is a pony who's lived her entire life working on a farm. Ergo, she would want someone who could help out with the chores, live the lifestyle, etc, etc."

"Manuel labor?" Discord pinched the bridge of his snout. "You are trying to make this experience a living imprisonment."

"Well, that's the only way you're going to be able to hang out with her."

"And pray tell, how are you able to come to that conclusion?"

"Twilight is very thorough in her letters." She is. She really is, almost to a scary, stalkerish level. I worry about that mare sometimes.

"I can imagine," and just like that, a little though bubble appeared over Discord's head.

Inside dwelled Twilight Sparkle, my dear sister in law. She was currently in her library, writing down several notes. "Today, Rainbow Dash's girth seemed to have increased by two point one centimeters. Given her lifestyle and previous reports, she seems to be taking five second longer naps than normal. Given the lengths of her previous naps, I'd have to say that this has been going on over the course of the past four days."

Discord looked at me and gave me a 'what the hay' kind of look.

I just sighed. Given Discord's nature, I wasn't sure whether that was the real Twilight or not…But just listening to her, I knew the truth. "She's always like that."

Twilight perked up and looked at her through the bubble. Oh she looked surprised to see her, but she didn't do anything rash. Given how everything that had happened to her in the last two years, it was understandable. "Cadance? Why are you talking out of a giant, floating…" her eyes narrowed. "Is Discord with you?"

Discord appeared by my side and waved over at her. "Hello, egghead."

"Does that answer your question?" I said.

Twilight sighed. "Yes…Unfortunately, yes. Why is he there with you? Is he trying to ruin your day?"

"No, I'm helping him with a little project."

Twilight's ears perked up. "Project? As in a scientific, data collecting, kind of project?"

Noticing the glint in her eyes, I started to sweat. "No, not that kind."

"Awww," Twilight whined. "That's too bad….But I'd be glad to help regardless. I'm sure I can find a book about whatever you are doing."

'_I bet you could.'_ I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread coming on. Don't get me wrong, I love Twilight like a little sister. She's the best friend I've ever had and she's always have a place in my heart…That said, she was terrible in the field of love. Seriously, she is just terrible. She couldn't find love even if it smacked into her.

That was my bad. My little brother, Prince Blueblood, wanted to train with me and I didn't see Twilight there…But they looked so cute all tangled up together…_'Focus, Cadance. One ship at a time.'_

So I stood there, trying to come up with a good excuse. Luckily, Discord picked the best option at the time.

"Bye egghead," and with a snap, the bubble burst. The two of us stood in silence for a few moments. "Your sister needs a different hobby."

"Eyup."

* * *

***Fluttershy's cottage***

Ah couldn't help but sigh as ah held the lil' tea cup in mah hooves. Ah'm normally not the type of mare ta seek help, ah prefer doin' stuff mahself, but times have changed. _'And so have mah friends.'_Ah couldn't help but think of one particular 'friend' when ah thought that, bringin' a scowl on mah features.

'_Who does he think he is, tryin' ta court me?'_ Ah beat down the risin' anger. Ah didn't want ta spook Fluttershy none.

Speakin' of Fluttershy, she came trottin' into the room. "Are you comfortable?"

Sittin' back on her couch, ah nodded. Fluttershy didn't have the most luxurious house, but dog garn, she had comfy furniture. Puts mah own ta shame.

Smilin', she took a seat not far aways from me. Between us stood a small table with a tea set in place. "That's good to hear."

"Where do ya find this stuff?" Ah asked, pattin' the couch. "It's some mighty comfy stuff."

"Oh, my family sent them," Fluttershy smiled. "They're always looking out for me. If it wasn't for them, I would never have been able to afford this house."

Ah couldn't help but smile. "Sounds like you've got quite the family."

Fluttershy nodded. "I do, but this isn't about them, is it Applejack?"

"Can't a mare just want ta hang out with her friend?" Mah eyes shifted about, tryin' not ta look at her. Ah knew ah came here fer her help, but ah kind of wanted ta put it off fer a while. Goin' ta ponies fer advice just felt strange ta me. Most of the time, ponies came ta me fer advice.

"Yes, but you came here for something else. I'm sorry for saying this, but you're acting off today."

Ah sighed. "Yer quite perceptive, aren't ya sugarcube."

"I have to be. My animal friends can't exactly talk like us ponies, so I have to read their body language. Over the years, I've perfected the art. But I don't need that to see that you're nervous about something."

"Am ah that easy ta read?"

Fluttershy's ears fell back against her head. "Yes…I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Fluttershy. Ah ain't the best at hidin' stuff. Could be because ah'm an Apple, could be because of mah Element. Don't rightly know."

"So, if it's alright with you, could you please tell me what's wrong?"

"Discord." Ah just blurted out. _'No point in trottin' around the issue any longer.'_

Fluttershy sighed, picked up the tea pot on the small counter between them, an' poured herself a cup. Lil' whiffs of vapor rose from the hot tea. "What did he do this time?"

"He…" Ah bit mah lip, unsure of how ta word it. "He…wants ta court me?"

Fluttershy's eyes widened and she set down the tea pot. "He wants to court you?"

Ah nodded. "He even wanted ta marry me." Ah grew a little queasy at the thought.

"That's…that's strange even for Discord. Did he say why?"

"He got hit in the head by an apple."

Fluttershy sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead. "Oh, Discord…"

"Ah don't know what ta do." Ah couldn't help but shake in anxiety. "I've had stallions wantin' me, but Discord…Ah don't know how ta take it."

"I'm sure you'll be able to work something out."

"No, ya didn't see the look in his eyes." Mah shakin' got worse and tea started to pour out of the cup. Mah mind couldn't help but picture Discord like he was, standin' over mah family. "He's determined about this. He won't let this go, ah tells ya."

"Knowing Discord, he'll get bored. He'll leave you…"

"NO!" Ah snapped, causing Fluttershy ta flinch. Ah hated doin' that ta her, but ah had ta stop that train of thought. "Ya don't understand. He wants me ta love him. Do ya know what that means, Fluttershy? He wants me ta open up an' give him mah heart."

"That doesn't sound so…"

"It is bad. Ah don't want to, but he'll make me." Ah couldn't help but notice how sore mah eyes were an' the water runnin' down mah face. "He'll make me love him. He'll take away everythin' ah have an' laugh about it."

"Discord isn't a heartbreaker, Applejack." Fluttershy said with some force. "He's not going to make you love him.

"'Course he is," ah scoffed. "He wants ta see how far this thin' will go an' then….an' then…" Ah couldn't bring mahself ta finish it.

"Applejack…" Fluttershy quickly went ta mah side an' pulled me into a hug.

"Ah'm scared," Ah told her. Mah tears stained her yellow coat. Normally, ah'd never tell anypony that, but this was Fluttershy. She'd understand. "Ah'm scared of fallin' in love with him. Ah've never done it before."

"I know you're scared. I'd be scared to if someone came onto me like that," Fluttershy pulled back an' wiped away mah tears. "But Discord is our friend. He wouldn't hurt us. Not like that. Not ever."

Ah snorted. "Ah'm not too sure 'bout that. He's a tricky one."

Fluttershy giggled. "He sure is, but he has a good heart buried somewhere under those tricks. He isn't going to use you."

Ah knew Fluttershy knew what she was talkin' 'bout, but ah couldn't wave off the dread ah was feelin'. Ah still didn't trust Discord. He was a no good varmint who liked ta mess with ponies day in an' day out. Ah was sure as a pig is pink that he was up ta somethin'. Ah just hoped that mah heart could survive this lil' trick of his.

Fluttershy sighed once more. "How about this? The next time me and Discord get together, I'll talk to him about this."

Ah couldn't help but smile. Discord was woven around Fluttershy's hoof tightly. She'd get him off her back in a jiffy if things went south. "Thanks, Fluttershy."

"What are friends for."


	7. Chapter 7

I had never imagined I'd see the day Discord would be frozen in fear. It wasn't an impossible image, Twilight had written about how horrified the spirit had been when they imprisoned him a second time. _'The poor dear.'_ Both Twilight and I had been gleeful at the time, but now…I regret feeling so.

The two of us were currently standing outside the Apple's front door. I didn't think Discord would freeze up like he was. _'Thankfully, he didn't literally freeze up.'_

"Are you going to knock anytime soon?" I asked him, breaking the silence.

"Err…," I could swear that he was sweating just now. "Maybe."

I sighed. It was understandable that he'd be nervous. _'Courting your one true love is simply nerve racking.'_"Just knock on the door, Discord."

Discord glanced at me. "But Candy, I don't wanna."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hay he was whining about now. "Why?"

Discord raised a sign that said 'I told you not to ask me that'. As I rolled my eyes, he held up another sign 'but I'll tell you anyway.' "Manual labor," Discord narrowed his eyes. "In all my years, I've never lifted my claws to work anything more than a prank. To think I have to-" Discord shuddered. "-work on a farm to win Applejack's heart is a repulsive idea."

I really shouldn't have been surprised he wouldn't take to this idea well. "Listen, this is but one step on the path to love," I told him. "Besides, if this thing works out between the two of you, you're going to be spending the next several years working on this farm."

Discord snorted. "Oh please, I have much better things to do with my time."

I pointed a hoof at him accusingly. "See, that's the attitude that throws a mare off. Spending time with her is important if you want a relationship to work. A life on the farm isn't going to kill you."

And just like that, in Discord's place was a large gravestone with the words 'Here lies Discord, Killed by farm life'.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. _'Drama prince.'_"Okay, knock it off."

In a flash, Discord stood before me. "Kill my joy, why don't you." The god of chaos was pouting ever so adorably and crossing his arms. I don't know why I found him so cute when he was grumpy. Maybe it's because I'm not used to seeing him like that. Never the less, his puppy pout wasn't going to make me back off him in the slightest.

"Now, knock."

Discord raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you knock? I'm sure Applejack will listen to you more so than me."

I sighed. "No, just…no."

"Why ever not?"

"Because if I do so, it'll just pressure Applejack into giving you a chance," I held a hoof to my heart. "She has to choose for herself, so I can't help you directly…At least not yet."

"Ugh," Discord threw his hands up in despair. "Why is love so complicated? Couldn't you just shoot us with a love beam or something?"

You know, in all the time I've been the princess of love, I can't count how many times I've been asked that. I lost count after the first hundred. Yet, I can't help but feel insulted, no, degraded whenever someone asked me to do…that. I know I should have stayed calm, but my anger boiled over. Smoke escaped my nostrils as I snorted in rage. My eyes pierced his very soul, causing Discord to shrink back in fear. "Never ask me that…again."

Discord righted himself and put on a more controlled expression. I was actually surprised he could jump back so suddenly from my death glare. Even Chrysalis needed a moment to collect herself and she had quite a bit experience dealing with it, I assure you. _'No-one calls me tubby, not even a queen.'_

"It seems I touched a nerve," Discord said. "I'm not sure if I'm happy about that."

"You shouldn't," My glare was as harsh as before, but it was still present. "You can't force love, Discord. It's sick and wrong."

"But aren't love spells easy to obtain and use?"

"Yes," my eyes looked away. I was silent for a moment, reflecting how sad that statement was true. I really hated the idea that there were books, specifically history books, that had the recipe for such things as Love Poison. It was easy to make and anypony could get their hooves on it. Well, at least they used to. When I became princess of love, I spent many an hour tracking down and destroying any such spells and potions. I had even tried to pass a law making them illegal. Until the incident in Ponyville, that law hadn't been put into practice and my efforts were in vain.

This was one of the few times in my life that I was thankful for the CMC's antics.

Since then, my aunt has been cracking down hard on publishers and such to rid our fair nation of the heretical stuff. I'm not one to toot my horn, but my empire is some leaps ahead of her in that regard.

"But that's being dealt with."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Like me?"

"No, you're special," I giggled, flying up to his level and patted his head like I would a pet. "You're a special little snowflake."

Upon hearing this, Discord chuckled and turned into a large snowflake, twice the size of my head. His face was etched on the frozen surface. The snowflake quickly grew an icy arm and grabbed a hand held mirror out of thin air. "I am, aren't I?" The spirit checked out his new form in the mirror.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you are," I said, before touching back down on the ground. "Now stop with the lame jokes and knock." I saw him drop the mirror, which let out a loud 'pop' as it hit the ground and vanished, and hold his ice arm out to knock on the door. "In your regular form."

With a flash of light, Discord was his normal self again. "I don't see why? I bet dear sweet Applejack can't wait to _defrost_me." He waggled his eyes in an uncouth manner. I honestly never pegged Discord to be so…flirty. Maybe being trapped in stone for more than a thousand years can do that to you.

"No," I lightly punched his side. "No defrosting."

Discord silently grumbled. "Fine."

I nodded, happy he was going to play by my rules…for once. Of course, I had the distinct inkling that this wouldn't always be the case. I didn't need to be Twilight Sparkle to figure that out. "Good, now go win your mare."

"I will," Discord struck a confident pose, eyeing the door like an enemy combatant.

I smiled and then winked out.

* * *

***Applejack***

"Comin'," Ah hollered when ah heard somepony knockin' at our door. My trusty hat lay on a hook near the entrance. Ah couldn't help but wonder who it was. Ah wasn't expecting any of my friends over and ah'm sure as wheatcakes that the rest of my family were inside. _'It could be Ditzy with another one of her usual late packages.'_What ah found behind the door was none other than the last fella ah wanted to see.

"Howdy ya'll," the varmint currently known as Discord drawled out. He was wearin' a red and white, flashy cowpony suit. It looked exactly like the ones I usually see at a rodeo. "Ah thought ah'd come by an see what's ya up ta."

Ah glared at him, takin' a second to steel my heart against him. "Discord, stop that. Us country ponies don't sound like that." Ah was right too. His accent was so thick and fake ah just wanted to buck it right out of him. This wasn't the first time ah heard ponies use it, comedians and whatnot, but ah thought Discord was better than this. _'This just shows me that ah gave him way too much credit.'_

"Ah beg ta differ, lil' missy," Discord ruffled my mane with one of his stinkin' paws. I resisted the urge to break said paw, only 'cause I knew that it would be pointless. He was chaos incarnate after all.

"Discord, did you just come over her to mess with me or what?"

"Why of course, mah dear Applejack," Discord cupped his hands together and took a loving pose. "There's nothin' ah want more in life than ta be with mah darlin'."

"Discord, I said stop that." My hooves were just itchin' to buck him into next year.

Discord pouted. "Fine," with a snap of his talons, he was out of that silly get up. Ah still don't know why rodeo riders wear it in the first place. Whenever ah look at it, ah can't help but wonder if ah should laugh or shake my head in shame. "Have it your way."

"Thank you kindly," I nodded. "Now, why are you on my property?"

Discord suddenly took on an expression I wasn't expecting to see on the big lug: nervousness. "Well…" he fiddled with his claws. "I just wanted to say I was sorry."

My eyes couldn't get any wider than they were at this moment. Discord was apologizing? _'Something's not right here.'_ "You're sorry?"

"Yes," Discord's eyes shifted away from mine, like he was afraid to look me in the eyes. "I was wrong to try and force you to accept me like that. I should have given more thought on my approach."

Now bein' the Element of Honesty and an Apple to boot, ah could tell right away he was being truthful. Unlike the whole plunder seed incident, which ah could tell right away that this here critter was up to no good. Still, ah eyed him with a note of suspicion. "Ah accept your apology." As ah spoke, ah held back the urge to smile. If he was willin' to say he was sorry, there was hope for him yet. That and ah can't help but think he was kind of cute when he was nervous…Kind of.

Discord gave me a relieved smile and hugged me tighter than Pinkie Pie. _'How is that possible?'_"Oh, I'm so happy you forgave this poor soul." Thankfully, he pulled back, letting me grab some much needed air. "I'm so glad you forgave this wretched soul. I don't know what I'd do if you hated me."

'_Probably the same thin' as always,'_Ah thought as I rolled my eyes. "Could you let me down now?" Discord set me down gently. "Thank ya kindly. Now, is that all?"

Discord booped my nose. "You're already trying to get rid of me? How very mean of you."

Pulling back from his finger, ah snorted. "'Course ah am. Just 'cause you apologized doesn't mean ah want you around."

Discord's ears drooped, before perking up. "Well, what if I helped around the farm?"

Panic, extreme panic. That was what ah felt. _'Discord? Workin' here?'_Ah remembered the last time he visited my farm and ah was sure as hay not ready to go ice skatin'. Not to mention him tryin' to win my heart. "Uh, about that…." Ah rubbed the back of my head, unsure of how to explain it to him.

Leaning down on one knee, Discord bowed his head. "My dearest Applejack, I only wish to show you how much you mean to me."

"But we barely know each other," Ah pointed out. Hopefully, he'll see my point soon. Ah don't know what ah would do if he stuck around. _'Go insane, most likely.'_

Discord shrugged. "Details."

Ah face-hooved. Ah tried to think of something, anything to make him go away, but my mind drew a blank.

Ah gave out a deep sigh. "Fine," ah relented. Ah knew that the blasted varmint would keep hounding me until he got his way. At least he was doing somethin' constructive for once. "Ya can come work on my farm, but that's it."

Discord jumped up into the air and shouted "Yes!" Fireworks appeared around him. The chaos spirit started performin' some sort of victory dance. Ah couldn't really tell what type it was. "Discord is in, baby!"

Ah instantly regretted my decision.


End file.
